James Blunt must be a god
Please don't hate James Blunt.
Aside from having a name most likely created by a nun and Method Man, he's a former army captain and could probably turn your body into a bleeding pretzel.
But more importantly, he's given me countless hours of unbridled entertainment by singing these words in a quivering faux-falsetto: "Yoahr Beeu-Ti-fALL.... h....it's truh!" The 'f' is silent.
In fact, I've managed to ruin a bride-to-be's first dance at her wedding reception.
The man is a god I tell you. If sap were shit, the Blunt craps out maple syrup with little itty bits of corn from yesterday's dinner.
Click here to read The Aural Douchebag eating his words regarding James Blunt.
posted by Terence at 5:38 PM
8 Comments:
Does smoking a blunt enhance one's listening experience with James Blunt, or does it just make the man's lack of talent more blunt?
the literate douchebag.
9:08 PM
i learned a few things today.
1. bedlam is somewhere you don't want to go back
2. we have a musical terrorist on our hands who is strapping melodic c4
3. who i thought was damien rice or coldplay was not
4. havin' a good diarrhea can be spiritually stimulating (yep, holy crap)
5. i really am beautiful, needed that compliment
james blunt may be a genius but i think we justify his musical greatness with his *whimsical* biography.
"In essence, one day he was sleeping off a hangover at the back of a sociology lecture hall and the next thing he knew he was in Kosovo with a gun and a guitar strapped to the side of a tank, wondering who he could possibly sleep with to get out of this war."
oh blunt, you random fuckface of banal shitticism. play me a song that leaves you in a coma. oh yeah, it's isn't because you are mainstream, it's actually because you really suck.
the average and usual but beautiful douchebag.
9:57 PM
Allow me to post the chorus (at this point, picking on the Billy Ocean-like music of James Blunt is like trying to prove a retard is dumb by getting one to play Sudoku, but let's continue regardless):
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Upon reading the entire lyric sheet (found here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jamesblunt/yourebeautiful.html), I realized the song is about some random hottie The Blunt wanted to bone.
This presents a dilema. Is The Blunt a douchebag for such a hollow song? Or big ups to a horny falsetto-voiced man-boy?
10:35 PM
thank god for piracy. with any luck, he'll be downloaded into oblivion. then he can spank-write all he wants into his tri-varnished songbook. hopefully, the good sir will be partying it up outside a taco bell dumpster with collective soul and the new dude from inexcess come 2007.
someone on my favourite obscure underground music analysis board said it best:
"Blunt exudes something, but for better or worse, it's something I'm not comfortable with."
Jonathan K. Perkins (customer, amazon.com)
yes jonathan, once again, you hit the nail upon the head. we all know that war veterans are a fucked up lot.
the smooth douchebag.
12:05 AM
James Blunt is great you're just jealous of his success!
11:46 AM
"James Blunt is great you're just jealous of his success!"
Anonymous, talk about pointing out the obvious. Of course I'm jealous of his money and his kick ass last name.
Doesn't stop the fact he cited "Dorian Gray" in one of his songs for absolutely no reason but for rhyming purposes and to sound well read. In the chorus no less.
That makes James Blunt a douchebag. Sorry.
2:08 PM
"Upon reading the entire lyric sheet (found here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jamesblunt/yourebeautiful.html), I realized the song is about some random hottie The Blunt wanted to bone."
The song is not about that... It's about James' ex-girlfriend who he saw with her new boyfriend on the subway. You are so ignorant.
And I must point out in this statement of yours:
"Doesn't stop the fact he cited "Dorian Gray" in one of his songs for absolutely no reason but for rhyming purposes and to sound well read. In the chorus no less."
Dorian Gray
Fictional character from the novel "The Picture Of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde. Features in the lyrics to the song Tears And Rain. In the story, Dorian sells his soul for eternal youth and good looks but his painted portrait depicts the decline of his soul.
That explains why James Blunt cited Dorian Gray.
You are so ignorant. There are better things to do than call James Blunt a douchebag for stupid reasons such as these.
James Blunt is incredibly talented and I think you are just wasting your time on this stupidity.
11:14 AM
I don't think you know what ignorant means or you fully failed to explain yourself.
7:09 AM
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